Revelations From The Broom Cupboard
by touchtheskyx
Summary: [OneShot] Together, Lily, James and broom cupboard basically spell disaster. Or can a cramped space and a presence of romance novels lead to revelations neither expected?


**AN:** So first this was a oneshot, and then it was part of The Stag and the Doe, and now it's a oneshot again! You might have read it, probably haven't though, so read and review for me. I might add onto this eventually and add other characters, but I'm not sure if I'll find the time or the inspiration.

**Revelations From the Broom Cupboard**

"Damn you Sirius Black!" Lily shouted, pounding on the door.

James leaned back, casually as was possible, agains the wall, foot resting on an overturned bucket. Most of the space was devoted to a few brooms, a good many cobwebs and for some strange reason a number of sappy romance novels that James assumed the caretaker had been looking at for a bit of light reading (when he looked closer at them later he realized that the novels were quite graphic, and he pocketed one to give to Sirius as a reward).

There was no answer from Sirius Black, most likely because James' specific instructions had been to lock them in and run away, as fast as he could, just incase Lily decided to blow the door open. Coveniently, Sirius had managed to steal her wand, but all the same, James thought the fiery look in her eyes might be enough to set fire to the entire castle.

"I had nothing to do with it!" James said, holding his hands in the air, the light from the tip of his wand further illuminating the spidery corners of the tiny room.

She sighed.

"I've known you too long to believe that, Potter."

"Okay, good, we're getting somewhere..."

"What do you mean getting somewhere? We're locked in a bloody broom cupboard!"

"With our relationship, I mean."

"Relationship? What relationship?" She was in hysterics now. "Our relationship is as non-existant as your humility!"

"Our relationship is growing... slowly."

"Too bad it wasn't growing as fast as your ego."

"You so want me."

"Give me a break, Potter."

"You think im seeexxxyyy..." he climbed onto her lap. "You wanna looooove me, you wanna hooollld mee..."

She pulled a revolted face and stood up very quickly, causing him to fall to the ground, his head landing nicely in a bucket and his foot hitting the romance novels on the way down.

"You should read some of those," he said, sitting up and wincing. "You really know how to kill a mood."

"The only mood you're getting from me is disgust, Potter," she growled.

"I love it when you're mad at me."

"If only I had my wand..."

"You would use it to express your undying love for me by use of charms and pretty words..."

"I would use it to curse..."

"... which would dance around our heads..."

"...your..."

"...watching us make sweet love to the beat of the music..."

"...balls off."

"But Lily dearest, that wouldn't do at all... the pretty words would have no love-making, angsty teenagers to dance around."

"Good!"

"Maybe I should become gay, Sirius is easier to please than you..."

"Maybe you should. That way I could be free of my one and hopefully my only stalker, you would finally be with someone who would sleep with you and someone who could match your ego."

"Sirius wouldn't..."

"Oh please, he'd screw Severus if he asked," she spat.

James couldn't deny the inevitable truth in these words... well, he could deny the Snape part, that was ridiculous, but he _had_ caught Sirius and Lydia at it a few days before...

"Speaking of screwing..."

"Oh, god..."

"I was going to say there's a screw sticking out of the wall and about to skewer your head, but who knows, maybe it would pierce the part of your brain that doesn't want my sexiness."

"You'd have to take out my whole brain for that to work out, Potter, and I think its about time you let me out..."

"No, don't think so."

"Why? It's obvious you're not getting any closer to getting in my pants..."

"You haven't fallen deeply and madly in love with me yet," he said simply.

"If you were deeply and madly in love with me I don't think you'd have locked me in a closet."

James didn't answer to that, and he could almost see the fire in her emerald eyes die a bit...

"Oh my god, you love me!"

"Well I have been telling you that for six years, but if it's taken that long to sink in..."

"You've been telling me it for six years, sure, but I thought it was more of a crazy, stalkerish obsession but..."

"Honestly, that's what it was at first... but now... Lily, you're beautiful, inside and out, and I mean it, I love it even when you're mad at me. Everything about you is gorgeous. I wouldn't have wasted six years of my life going after you if I didn't mean it."

She smiled. "All this from the guy who locked me in a broom cupboard?

He nodded sheepishly. "Look, I'm sorry... I'll let you out now..."

"Thanks," she said. He unlocked the door. "What you said was great, James, really, but..." She kissed him softly on the lips. "I'm not used to this not creepy, not arrogant, not self-absorbed you yet, okay?"

James watched her go, then followed her out, brushing the dust off his clothes. Sirius came around the corner just as she turned and James' slightly humble face broke into a grin.

"One step closer to getting Lily in the sack by the look on your face?"

James laughed and high-fived his expectant friend.

"I dunno, I'd say closer to getting into her heart."

Then he walked away, humming to himself.

Sirius called after him, "If she confunded you mate, she's got some mad skill."

James just stuck up his hand, waved, and kept walking.

"I even had her wand!"

He shook his head, mumbling to himself, and took off after his friend.


End file.
